“I have tried to stop smoking / losing weight / change careers / be less of an a*hole”…and fill in the blank.

What have been the results? Any luck on changing? Did the stars aligned?

I am sure some people think Tony Robbins is a savior, and others think he’s a fake guru, but if I find a concept or idea that may be useful I’ll take it.

He said: “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”

So, by those standards, if the consequence on your behavior is that you are still doing the same thing you had “decided” not to do, then you still have some inner workings to do in order to really, truly decide.

Run the numbers, please.

Run them as soon as possible, and as deep as you can.

When the projections are performing like an equilibrist between profits and loss, it’s safe to assume shit will happen. So you better fix the business model or you call it off.

On the other hand, great numbers can mean one of two things: you have some huge potential (and should proceed with caution so you don’t blow it) or you are fooling yourself with wrong assumptions.

Happy numbers must be put under scrutiny over and over and over.

And of course, revisit them as soon as you have new pieces of information that may modify your previous assumptions and projections.

Sometimes life comes and runs over you like a juggernaut.

In those moments, people find themselves in the necessity to start over. Sometimes the new life won’t ressemble anything to what it used to be.

Some will crumble. And some will fight hard, reinventing themselves.

The good news is you don’t have to start from scratch. That would be stupid. Now you know things about your previous craft, the world, and even things about yourself.

So, even if you must start in a totally different field, you would have the benefit of knowing more than before.

Welcome to zoom age where you have become a performer.

Must engage with your co-callers using your vibe and your energy, and you must entertain them so the call produces the desired outcome.

It is exhausting, yes. And it is outside of your comfort zone because you are an introvert.

But if you fail to connect emotionally, you will lose everyone’s attention.

People are used to jump from app to app or binge watch shows while staring at a screen. It is a habit we have developed.

So you better start developing those skills now, because even when Covid gets tamed, zoom meetings aren’t going anywhere.

You side with Katniss of course. You want her to win the games. That’ll show them. And also, that will set her free.

Welcome to your own hunger games. Your actual life. We are all in this strange, complex game.

And the only valid reason to win the game is to be free of it. Just like Katniss.

There are so many things that I don’t want and I decided not to play those games. But, for the games I have decided to play, I give it all in.

Just to name a few: the game of the family, the game of self governance, the game of impact, the game of significance, the game of learning, the game of growth…

The first thing to do is to be aware of the game you are in (you could be playing without even noticing it).

Then decide whether you should be participating in any particular game. There are few games in life that are mandatory and/or beyond your choice.

Each game has its own rules and players so you must understand them.

Then master the game and win it.

Now you are free to choose another game.

Why, regularly, uber drivers behave fundamentally different than regular cab drivers?

there is a fundamental quality increase in the service provided: They take care of the car, they clean it, they themselves have a more polished personal image and they are even more polite.

We could assume that different people did apply to be an uber driver and that is why they are different, but there is a lot of people that made the transition from being a driver of a regular cab into being an uber driver.

For those regular cab drivers that made the jump to uber, my guess is, they behave differently because it is an expected behavior.

So, the company culture plays a determinant role. It is not a person that plays solo anymore and do whatever he wants with is service and clients: they are part of a huge company, and the company has now stakes at play with the quality of the service provided.

But also all the controls implemented, the feedback provided by the client and the very tangible possibility to be kicked out of the company.

It all makes possible to change the behaviour of people that we may think would never change.

So with the right motivation, magic can happen. People can change.

It is just a matter of bringing great design into systems that previously were no man’s land and transform them into self regulating machines that deliver better outcomes.

So we have on one corner an amazing authot: Seth Godin.

He claims that reasurrance is futile.

Seth says that almost all of the feedback will be negative (if you have a revolutionary idea) and even if you get positive feedback it will last nothing and then you will need more reassurance.

On the other corner we have Steven Kotler, another amazing author.

He asserts that social reassurance will help you in your quest to achieve the impossible: your massively transformative purpose (they even differ on how and why purpose should be approached, but that is material for another post).

Steven explains that social reassurance will release a set of neuro-transmitters such as dopamine in anticipation of and when positive feedback exists, and even oxytocin which will help you create a community that will provide you with resources to accomplish the impossible goal.

So, I think it depends on the kind of person you are, the actual craft or purpose at hand and the reach or the outcome you are trying to accomplish.

If you are an absolute introvert, you would have to transform yourself (or bypass any social anxiety) in order to expose yourself and your work to the world. That is not an easy task and in itself, a huge amount of people would be stuck there.

Now, if the craft of your expertise is something you can play solo, like being an author, a scientist, academia, etc., then you could be a virtuoso and develop your techne with (almost) nobody around you. It is very unlikely, but you could try.

Finally, if you have a huge, impossible purpose, you, by yourself, will not get very far. You will need the support, resources and input from lots of people.

Somehow, Seth is the intelectual Goggins, a beast that will go on no matter what. It works for him. The approach Steven suggests is to go with and being supported by your biology, leveraging how we are made in order to get where you want to go.

Both could work. Which one seems better for you?

And your circumstances, they doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter where you were born. Or what age you are. Or even how your life has been.

Even if all those things put you in a statistically “less fortunate position”, they are a result of luck. And nobody is to blame for life’s accidents and randomness.

So feeling entitled just because you happen to exist in a particular reality will only refrain yourself from actually breaking the chains of hoping, waiting or even demand to be rightfully compensated.

The only person that owes you something is yourself.

You owe it to yourself to keep trying to figure out how to live the best life you can.

Gently telling a potential customer that is trying to get from you something different than your craft, that is a generous act.

Answer with a “no thank you, but let me put you in contact with someone that will be willing to fulfill your need”.

They should be thankful and receive the redirection with a smile. If they don’t then they don’t worth your time and effort.

If you try to get all and any business just yo make a quick buck, in the long run your craft will suffer.

You will never be able to position yourself o your business as the best as something, and will end up being meaningless to everyone, even yourself.

When in survival mode, evolution has, very wisely, gotten rid of any “energy waste”.

Dreaming and future planning fall in this category: who needs to think of the future when your immediate survival is at stake?

But we must force ourselves to find those moments of reconciliation with the present and the visualization of the future.

Those moments (and the neurochemicals released) are critical to holding on and eventually moving forward.

The recovery phase, where serotonin plays a main role, is as necessary as the drive to achieve.

So yes, gratitude, and meditation, and bonding with loved ones. It all must be a part of our lives.

They will avoid burnout but also will allow our brain to perform all those cleansing of toxins and also will make possible the sense of connectedness where lateral thinking and real creativity emerges, leading to bigger dreams and more ambitious plans for the future.